There is no greater indignity than to be raped by a poet.
The gentleman drove me home in the morning. I sat like stone in the seat next to him. He opened my door for me. ”Sister Soul, ” he whispered in my ear. ”The worst thing ever would be to lose your friendship. ” The Worst Thing. I had another Worst Thing.
This time Carl and I sat in my car and we both sobbed. ”You got in his bed, ” he said. ”I said no, ” I said. I had messed up. I had failed at being a Good Person. Carls heart was broken, again, by me. His eyes hardened. ”Marry me, ” he said. I recoiled. I am poison. ”Yes, ” I said, ”but not now. ”
”The **? I thought you left. I told you to leave. ” Natalia says in the calmest voice. When I turn around, shes looking at me, her eyes bloodshot. ”No, you told me to feel free to leave and I do. ” I answer.
”So why haven you left yet? ”
Trust me, Im wondering the same thing.
”Because firstly, you
e cute when you
e annoyed, secondly, this book is too good to leave without finishing it. ” I tease and lie at the same time. I also reveal to her that I think shes cute. Shit.
”Let me see. ” she says, squinting her eyes at the book and I close it to show her the title on the front cover. ”You can be serious. Surprise and disbelief? ” she says. So shes read it.
”Its a really good book. ”
”Oh good then itll hurt more when I tell you that they get married in the end. ”
”Awesome. Now I have to find another book to read. ” I say, getting up from the couch. ”Where do your parents think you are? ” she asks and I turn around and stare at her.
”What? ” she asks me, her brown eyes looking at me blankly.
”Im twenty one. ” I say, looking at her like its the most obvious thing. ”Sorry. My parents never cared for me my entire life so how was I supposed to know that parents are generally supposed to stop caring when their children turn twenty one? ”
Okay, her excuse is valid. ”They don stop caring, they just give us some space to be independent since you know, they won always be there for us to depend on. My parents aren even here. England remember? ” I turn around and begin walking back to her bookshelf.
”Oh, shit yeah I remember. Well, Im gonna go take a nice warm bath. I would say make yourself at home, but youve obviously got that covered. ” she says behind me and I can hear her getting out of her bed.
”You never really answered my question. ” I let go of the book I was holding and turn around to look at her.
”What was it again? ” she asks.
”How much of last night do you remember? ”
”I remember talking to you at Masons. We were listening to music and I was sitting on the counter. You were sitting on one of the counter stools. And yeah thats about the last thing I remember happening last night. ”
”Oh, cool. ”
”Why? Did-did something happen last night? ” she asks.
”Nothing in particular. We basically just talked, got high and I drove you home. ”
”Wait, if we were both high then how come you drove and I couldn ? ”
”Firstly, its my car and secondly, you were higher than me. ” I smile. She told me that every Friday she drives home from school and Ubers from her house to Masons and then back when shes ready, so I offered to give her a ride home instead of taking an Uber home.
”Okay, ” she smiles lightly before making her way to the bathroom. I turn back to the books and start looking for one that I haven read yet. I read a lot too so most of these Ive already read.
All the Lives We Ever Lived: Seeking Solace in Virginia Woolf – read that one. American Spy – read that one. Bowlaway – read that one. The Collected Schizophrenias – read that one. Blank. Blank? I take out the brown blank book from in between a bunch of other books. Its basically made out of plain brown cardboard and then theres tiny flowers and leaves decorating whats probably the front cover.
I open the book and its completely blank. Emptiness covers every single page. I turn around to find Natalias bathroom door wide open. Shes using her hand to check the running waters temperature and the other one, shes using to hold on to the bathtub for balance…or the jacuzzi…or hot tub…from the looks of it, theres absolutely no difference.
I start walking to her just when she leaves the water and moves to her enormous mirror and starts doing something to her hair. I reach the bathroom and lean against the doorway. For some reason, I clear my throat first before speaking, ”Hey, whats this book? ”
She turns and faces me, while putting her hair in a bun at the same time. Her extremely short black dress does a terrible job at keeping her legs hidden.
”Oh, uhm, thats my fifth birthday gift from my parents. I actually forgot about it. ”
”You never used it? ” No shit, Sherlock.
”Nah. My parents wanted me to become a successful author. They can literally get me anything I want anytime I want, so at least they have an excuse for getting me the worst birthday gifts when it counts. ” she jokes, her hands leaving her hair in a big bun on the top of her head.
”Now, if you don mind, ” she says, casually putting her hand on the doorknob on her side of the door. Thats my cue. I turn around and walk back to her bookshelf. I put her empty book back in its spot and look for more books to read.
Im scanning the books she has that I haven read when Natalia opens the bathroom door, sticks her head out and says, ”My personal favourite is The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins. ”
She then retreats back into the bathroom, leaving me with a genuine smile. Clearly she wants me to stay, otherwise why would she recommend her favourite book to me? I take out the book and move back to the couch. I lie in the same position as earlier and start reading. Its getting a bit dark outside so I hope she finishes soon, because I have no idea where her light switch is.
Eventually, I finish the book. Shes still not finished so I get off her couch, leaving her book on it. I open her balcony door and take the random, black water bottle off her desk and out with me. It doesn surprise me that theres a table setup on her bedroom balcony.
”You haven left yet?
” she gasps sarcastically, walking out and joining me on her balcony. She returns barefoot in shorts and an oversized white t-shirt.
e alive? ” I mimic her gasp and a smile appears on her pink lips before she rolls her eyes at me.
”I didn take that long. ” she says with a smirk. ”I read that entire book from the beginning to the end and then came out here while you were in there. ” I say.
”Hey, I didn ask you to stay in my room the whole day. ”
Okay, she makes a valid point.
” I mumble.
e you doing anyway? ” she asks me, referring to the black bottle in my hand. I don answer. Instead, I pour a mouthful of the beverage in my mouth, which I deliberately and with style, spit out on the other side of the railing. ”Why would you do that? ” she asks, clearly a little amused. ”This shouldve been vodka. ” I say and she laughs before grabbing the bottle from me and standing right next to me, so close I can smell her. But she moves away before I can make out what her scent is.
”How was it? ” she asks, moving to sit on one of the chairs around the table. ”The book. ” she clarifies, drinking the water from the same water bottle at the same spot I drank from a few seconds ago.
”Well, Im not surprised that your favourite book is a psychological thriller. It was dope. ”
”I know. ” she answers casually.
”Besides reading, what else do you do? ”
I can see her hesitate for a second before answering. ”I don do much. ”
”Thats not true. ” I say and she looks at me, confusion occupying the entirety of her face. ”You draw. ” I state.
”How would you know that? ”
”I bumped into another blank book except this one was only blank on the outside. ” I say.
”Really its like you
e rediscovering all the things I completely forgot about. ”
”You forgot you can draw? ” I ask her humourously.
”Well, yes. I got that book when I was thirteen and I took drawing lessons just so that I could be at home less of the time. ” she says.
”I also draw you know.
” I tell her.
e probably better though. I didn have drawing lessons at thirteen. ”
”But thats the thing. I can only draw because I had people teach me how. Your drawing abilities are based on pure talent, so you
e probably definitely better. ”
I don respond and she says, ”I guess theres only one way to settle this. ”